Em's Close Up Captures

An review of the live performance of Waitress: The Musical I saw recently, and my personal connection to the film

One of the films that has meant the most to me since I first saw it in 2022 is Adrienne Shelly’s 2007 melodrama-rom-com, Waitress. I first had to watch this film in preparation for one of my lectures about independent cinema at university and, although I didn’t think much of it from the poster, I fell in love with it. I’ve always felt there is a lot to say about this film; it covers so many bases, from romance to friendship to unexpected pregnancies and love affairs. I’ve always said that this is a film made by a woman for the enjoyment of female spectators. This month, I was able to see Waitress: The Musical live on stage at the Sunderland Empire Theatre and it certainly didn’t disappoint. I’ve seen the pro-shot a few times before but seeing the story unfold and hearing the songs be sung right in front of me was a whole new experience. This week I wanted to write about my time at the theatre, but also my personal experience with Waitress. This year I faced quite a major setback, all to do with my master’s degree. I want to take this opportunity to talk about it, and more importantly to get it written down on paper to help me move on. Although things didn’t go as planned, Waitress will always mean so much to me.

Before any of that, I want to share a quick review of the performance I saw the other week. For starters, I thought the actress who played Jenna, Emma Lucia, was perfect for the role; to me, she embodied both Keri Russell and Sara Bareilles’ takes on the character well, whilst adding her own spin. I have found other Jennas in the past to be presented as very straight-forward, no-nonsense characters, but Lucia’s interpretation seemed softer and aligned more with the Jenna we meet in the original film. She was still strong and brave, but there was a slight timidness to her that made the character seem more complex, and aligns more with the way she describes herself in She Used To be Mine. This song shows the real diversity found in a singular character; Jenna is kind and selfless, but she also engages in an affair, making the audience question their own moral compasses. Most people will likely want to see her succeed, but we do see her carrying out an act that is hugely frowned upon. Lucia’s representation of Jenna’s duality really captured my attention and kept me hooked throughout the show.

We can’t forget the rest of the cast, too. I always think that Waitress: The Musical’s comedic currency is massively over-looked. The polar-opposite personalities of Becky and Dawn will always make their friendship seem endearing, but also quite funny. Sandra Marvin and Evelyn Hoskins embodied their characters perfectly in my opinion; Becky is brash but also has a sensitive side when she’s with her girls, and Dawn is so naïve but incredibly sweet. For me, the casting couldn’t have been better, everyone did a fantastic job at showing their character’s persona and real purpose in the show, and to top it all off, I got to see Les Dennis act as Old Joe. When watching the pro-shot, I have always given Waitress: The Musical an 8/10, but seeing it live has taken it to an astounding 10/10 for me.

As I mentioned before, Waitress is a film that has meant a lot to me over the last few years. I first watched it in 2022 and not only did I love the storyline, I also felt inspired by the film’s director, Adrienne Shelly. Shelly’s tragic death came when she was just 40 years old, but she achieved so much by then, eventually writing, directing and starring in her own film. What I find the saddest about her death is that she poured so much love into writing Waitress for her daughter, just to never get to see its premier. A lot of Waitress’ themes surround domestic violence, abuse of all kinds and manipulation. Just months before Waitress was released, Adrienne Shelly was murdered in her own office in New York by a man she didn’t even know. The parallels between her death and the way Jenna is treated by the men in her life shows that Waitress isn’t just a piece of entertainment, it’s a reflection of everyday life for so many women. Once I learned more about Shelly’s tragic end and was able to study Waitress in more depth at university, I knew hers was a story that I wanted to write about as much as possible for people to read. At uni I wrote an essay about her and Waitress and wrote an article for the annual media magazine; finally when I left, I decided I wanted to do a master’s degree and knew it had to be about Waitress.

When I set out to write my 30,000 word thesis about Waitress, Adrienne Shelly’s inspiration and death, and various other areas of film studies (such as genre, cult cinema and adaptation processes), I was so excited. I loved writing essays throughout my undergraduate degree, but Waitress was just something that I continuously felt drawn to. I was so well-supported by my supervisors throughout the year and felt that I was in a good place when I first submitted my work… then it started to go a bit downhill.

When I submitted my thesis, I was told that I should get my feedback from an external examiner within 6 weeks. By the time I got it back, it had been about 16 weeks. God knows what she was doing, but I started to feel really annoyed about this (why take on a role when you don’t think you actually have the capacity to fulfil it??)  and there was nothing anyone could do about it, and believe me so many people tried. My supervisors told me that they were confident that I would get my work back and have to make a few amendments before my final submission, which I was happy with, especially as I knew one chapter in particular was an area I struggled more in and wanted more time to do some extra reading about. Eventually, after more than double the amount of time it should have taken to get my thesis back, I received my feedback and instantly felt defeated and distraught. The report this examiner had written was 90% negative comments. What had gone so wrong? After meeting with my supervisors to discuss it all, we came to the conclusion that she didn’t seem to understand what I was writing about, and gave feedback that didn’t even make sense for the style of my thesis. She said that I would need to make a LOT of amendments to pass my master’s degree (allowing up to 9 months to complete it all), and for the first time in my life, I decided to just walk away.

I had worked so hard for a year on this thesis and knew that, apart from working more on that one particular chapter (which oddly she didn’t seem to find many problems with?), I couldn’t have done much more. On top of everyone else, the thesis would go back to the same examiner so I didn’t even see a point anymore. That was the hardest I’d ever worked on anything in my whole life and I felt like I failed. I felt like I wasn’t good enough and it felt like I didn’t deserve good things. It feels rubbish when you feel so proud of something you’ve done and it turns out you maybe shouldn’t have, which is exactly how I felt at the time. I felt like my life was over and felt like if I couldn’t do well in the one thing I’m so passionate about, I’ll never be good at anything. It’s been almost 5 months since then and I still don’t have half the amount of confidence now as I did before all this happened, and I certainly haven’t been as happy. It’s affected me more than I initially thought it would, and I’m still not over it. However, I’ve recently tried to work on this and want to change my mindset; instead of letting this define me, I want to be able to learn from this. 

I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m starting to understand that set-backs, however big or small, aren’t the end of the world. One thing that helps me cope is thinking that Jenna faces a major setback when Earl finds all her hidden money she is saving up to run away. It seems like her dream of living freely from him is now impossible, but by the end of the film she lives on her own with her child, surrounded by her best friends, running her own pie shop. It may take a little while, but I also want to feel like I can achieve more than I ever thought I would, just like Jenna. I’m a strong believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’; just because I don’t know the reason this has happened yet, doesn’t mean I will never find out. For now, all I can do is keep writing posts for my blog to keep my passion for writing about film alive. This decision to walk away from my thesis does not mean I am walking away from film, I just need a break, but watching Waitress: The Musical live on stage has reminded me of my love for this story, and made me realise that I have a stronger connection to it than I ever realised. 

My first step is to say that I am proud of the work I produced, and one person’s opinion does not define me.

Close Up Capture Rating: 5/5